How can couple therapy resolve marital conflicts?

One of the most turbulent human relationships is emotional relationships, especially those that have undergone a passage of time, there are things that can only be known about oneself through an emotional experience in which things are revealed that a person does not realize about himself, and other things surface that were never taken into account.

Each of the parties to the relationship may make an effort to conduct and advance the relationship after falling into many pitfalls, but sometimes things may reach a dead end, which calls both parties to resort to marital treatment or marital counseling under the hands of a specialist, hoping that they will look into their relationship and extend them a helping hand and assistance to solve the problem and avoid further turmoil.

• We will learn about the concept of marital therapy, the conditions that can benefit from it, the course of treatment and techniques used, and some forms of marital therapy.
• What is pair therapy?
• What conditions can benefit from marital therapy?
• Evaluating relationships before going through marriage
• Relationships that have been going on for a long time
• Marital relationships that are undergoing a period of transformation or tension
• Marital mutism
• Infertility in one or both spouses
• Material disputes
• Sexual problems
• Infidelity
• Emotional divorce
• What does a couple therapist do?
• Some couple therapy techniques
• Online Couple Therapy

• What is pair therapy?

Couple therapy is a type of psychotherapy, where a therapist helps the two people in a romantic relationship gain deeper insight into their relationship to resolve conflict, reach satisfaction, and improve the relationship through a variety of therapeutic techniques. Couple therapy includes couple counseling.

Most of the time, the therapist has clinical experience in dealing with couples, and holds a license or certificate to practice in spousal therapy and family therapy.

The style of each couple therapist varies depending on the background and theoretical orientation on which it is based in solving the problem, but all therapists seek to scrutinize some broad lines, including:

The main problem, which may be related to things such as sexual difficulties, Internet addiction, or jealousy.

The therapist’s focus is on treating the relationship itself, rather than treating each individual individually; through the relationship, the individual has access to the secrets of himself that contributed to the problem.

Early therapeutic intervention that will focus on solutions.

Clearly define the goals of treatment.

It should be noted that marital therapy is a general concept that includes parties who are romantically linked regardless of the name of the relationship, whether it is a love relationship, engagement, or marriage.

Couple therapy includes other types of relationships, such as:

• Relations between different races.
• Teenage youth relationship or university relationships.
• Relationships with a large age gap (the presence of an age difference between the parties).

• What conditions can benefit from marital therapy?

The goal of marital therapy is not limited to solving problems to get up and continue in the relationship, but sometimes the solution may be separation, as the parties resort to the therapist to achieve this purpose to be done peacefully without affecting the rest of the family.

The problems that couple therapy can deal with range from simple communication problems to addiction problems and mental illnesses that can be causing the problem.

Examples of conditions that can benefit from marital therapy include:

• Evaluating relationships before going through marriage

This aspect includes assessing each party’s expectations about the marital relationship, as well as conflicts that negatively affect the relationship, which may result in an unsuccessful marriage. Some may not be aware of the importance of this matter, especially if the parties believe that their contentious matters are simple and can be overcome after marriage.

Both parties to the relationship may avoid resorting to marital counseling for fear of losing the continuity in the relationship, and sometimes fears lead to escape from the search for solutions for fear of facing the facts.

• Relationships that have been going on for a long time

A couple after a long time of marriage like a 25-year marriage may feel the need to restore excitement and romance to their relationship. The passage of a long period of time sometimes contributes to the loss of passion and enthusiasm for the other party and for the marital relationship itself.

Marital therapy and counseling contribute to the introduction of techniques and means to improve this aspect and avoid further disruption.

• Marital relationships that are undergoing a period of transformation or tension

Couples therapy can provide support in the event of radical transformations in the family, which pose stress and more psychological stress. Examples of these changes include the recent birth of a child, going through financial problems such as losing a job, or changing the place of residence and the surrounding environment.

• Marital mutism

It is a term used by some to express the problem of silence between spouses, and it is also known as family silence.

Silence in itself is not a problem if it is normal within the relationship, but this becomes a problem if one of the parties resorts to it to avoid a problem, thinking that avoiding conflicts keeps the relationship safe.

• Infertility in one or both spouses

Most people go through a series of turbulent emotions after being diagnosed with infertility. Feelings of anger and sadness as well as feelings of loss. These feelings result from the disappointment that the couple is exposed to, especially if it has gone against their preconceptions about childbearing and what the family will look like.

It can get worse if one of the parties in the relationship is infertile, where feelings of sadness are mixed with guilt, self-blame, and fear of losing a partner. Couples may also resort to isolation to avoid social conversations that ask questions about this aspect.

Marital therapy in case of infertility provides a safe ground for both spouses to perceive the problem impartially and to express all the emotions that have accompanied this crisis. Couple therapy may not cure infertility per se, but it enables couples to develop their methods to seek solutions to the problem as well as look for options and alternatives.

• Material disputes

Financial matters may be one of the causes of disagreement between spouses, and material matters that spouses may disagree on:

One spouse may have an investor mindset while the other sees this mindset as risky.

Hide expenses from each other.

Hide accumulated debts from each other.

The income difference between spouses, especially if one spouse has to sit with the children at home full-time to take care of the children while ignoring the other party that this task is paid if it is done by someone other than the parents.

Provide extended family assistance for a spouse on his or her nuclear family.

The above disagreements may be one of the most sensitive, but marital therapy helps couples find solutions to them, by highlighting the barriers that hinder open dialogue and frankness between spouses, and identifying the reasons why each party’s efforts ignore the other.

• Sexual problems

Couples’ physical communication problems are one of the things that require resorting to marital therapy if the couple is unable to find solutions.

There may be a natural decline in sexual intercourse during the first few years of marriage, especially in the period of having children, but stopping this relationship often indicates a marital problem that needs to be treated.

It must be noted that there is no right or wrong pattern regarding sexual intercourse in terms of the number of times. Identifying the problem in this aspect depends on how both parties or one of them feels that there is a problem.

Among the most important reasons that lead to stopping sexual intercourse:

• Health problems and sexual disorders, such as erectile dysfunction.
• Tension.
• Marital disputes in which the couple loses intimacy and intimacy.
• Aggressive behavior.
• Watch pornography.
• Hypo-sexual desire disorder, which may occur in both sexes.
• Psychiatric problems and mental health disorders.
• Boredom and sadness.

Marital therapy contributes to determining the cause of lack of physical contact between couples, and accordingly goals and treatment plans are developed.

• Infidelity

Marital therapy in the subject of marital infidelity aims to identify the causes that led to marital infidelity, and deal with them, and the reasons that can make one spouse betray the other:

• Loss of intimacy and intimacy in the relationship, and a feeling of insatiability.
• Low self-esteem.
• The intentional act of infidelity with the aim of ending the main relationship (marital relationship).
• Mental disorders such as depression, high sense of ego, and paranoia.
• Sex addiction.
• Craving for another relationship with a feeling of the need to keep the marital relationship for many considerations.

It should be noted that most often betrayal is an act that has nothing to do with the partner. It does not mean that the other party suffers from a problem or guilt, but behind the betrayal are many reasons related to who practiced the act of betrayal.

Couple therapy also aims to check the emotional state of the betrayed person, whether it is feelings of destruction, loneliness, sadness, and confusion.

• Emotional divorce

Emotional divorce, also called silent divorce, is a psychological mechanism used by some couples when they feel that marriage has become a threat to their lives and well-being. In other words, it is the emotional separation of the self from the marital relationship.

For some, emotional divorce may occur before the actual divorce. Others may occur after the divorce event. But some couples may continue to be emotionally divorced for years until they realize that there is no solution other than actual divorce.

Couples therapy helps couples understand this condition and help them make the right decision.

• What does a couple therapist do?

The therapist usually starts with some standard questions to ask all couples related to the history of the relationship, about each partner’s family and origins, as well as their cultural background.

The therapist then checks the specific details of each relationship, including:

Evaluate and identify the problem that will be the focus of treatment, determine treatment goals, and develop a treatment plan.

During the treatment journey, the therapist helps the couple gain insight into the barriers and barriers that prevent the problem from being resolved, and helps the partners understand each other’s role in limiting interaction well to solve the problem, helping them perceive the relationship differently.

Helping couples change behaviors and ways of interacting with each other through techniques they can practice at home to reinforce this aspect.

• Some couple therapy techniques

Examples of techniques that couple therapy encourages include:

Breaking the deadlock in the relationship: by encouraging both parties to ask each other questions that are far from the subject of the relationship, and related to the things that the other party likes and increases knowledge of his inclinations and desires, such as asking about childhood memories.

Sharing and listening to music together: Because of its impact on reducing the psychological stress of both parties, and helps each party to understand the other through the music they prefer.

Book sharing: The exchange of books between the two parties to the relationship helps in enhancing communication, and may contribute to communicating the point of view of each party about what they want from the other party.

• Online Couple Therapy

Some people turn to online spousal therapy for many reasons, including:

A couple may feel comfortable and be able to express their problem better through the Internet without feeling embarrassed.

Having various options to choose the couple therapist that they believe is suitable for them in terms of experience, efficiency, and cost without worrying about where that therapist is and the country in which he lives.

Online couple therapy is a suitable option for couples’ circumstances if one of them travels a lot or takes care of their children.

Despite the facilities that can be obtained from marital therapy in this way, there are situations where online marriage counseling cannot help. For example, relationships that result in physical harm.

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